One Day Sakura Was Roller-Blading to School...
by megami juhachigou
Summary: A (very) screwed up fic has CCS, DBZ, SM, FY. Read it! Praise me! Flame me! Say whatever the heck you want, just review me! PG for language


Disclaimer: I don't own dragonball z, and I don't think I ever will. There are several things I don't own, and only few that I do, so please don't sue me.  
  
I also don't know why we bother to write this disclaimer, because the only one who does own dragonball z is Akira Toriyama and he wouldn't submit stuff because it wouldn't be a fanfiction then, would it? See what happens when I start to think? Scary, ain't it?  
  
rei - (.) Oooo…you haven't said *anything" about me yet! (whiny)  
  
megami_juhachigou - Why? Should I have?  
  
r - (.) Haaaai! (very whiny)  
  
mj - This is the spoiled bitch, Rei.  
  
r - (#.#) Wha? did you just call me spoiled?  
  
mj - Notice she cares no never mind about being called a bitch  
  
r - (angry silence)  
  
mj - Anyway…she yells at me while I write, she yells at me when I don't write. The only reason I put up with her is that she speaks Japanese (sort of) and is better with computers (barely). She's obsessed with fortune cookies and helped me think of a new pen name.   
  
Well, here's the story. It's *very* fucked up, I'm warning you. I wrote it while on a sugar high during my resource period. All my friends love it, but that don't mean much…they're just as screwed up as I am. Hope you enjoy it…  
  
One Day Sakura Was Pleasantly Roller-Blading to School…  
By megami_juhachigou  
  
One day, Sakura was pleasantly roller-blading to school when all of a sudden Kero yelled out - "hey, there's a fuckin' hot babe!" - and flew off towards the park.  
  
Sakura kept blading until she realized "why the hell was Kero coming with me to school in the first place?" She sped off in the direction that her furry little friend had flown  
  
When she reached the park, she saw that Kero was being scratched under the neck by Bulma. "Key of Clow!" Sakura yelled, and once the Clow Wand was in her grasp, she bladed over to speak with the blue-haired woman..  
  
Sakura tapped the wand on the small of Bulma's back (she is kinda short, ya know). "I sense a Clow Card."  
  
Bulma spun around, dropping Kero. "Who, me?" She saw Sakura's pissed off expression and sensed the ki radiating from her body. "Ahhhh! It's a fuckin' witch!" She pulled out a flying motorcycle hoi-poi capsule and fled off, away from the strange girl.  
  
"Fly Card!" Sakura yelled, and with the help of her magical wings, she flew of towards the other woman, leaving Kero smoking in the dust.  
  
Meanwhile, Ami Mizuno was outside studying when she saw the two females flying overhead. "Some thing's not right," she thought, "better transform."  
  
"Mercury Star Power, Make UP!" As Sailor Mercury, Ami raced down the street trying to catch up with the two women.   
  
"Shine Aqua Illusion!" A heavy spray of water covered Sakura and Bulma sending them crashing to the ground. When Bulma stood up, she found out the she was now a spiky-blue-haired man!  
  
Just at that moment, Vegeta was walking down the street and he happened to notice what was going on. "So, Bulma's a man, huh?" He thought. "Funny, I thought I would have noticed something." Then he kept on walking.  
  
"Turn me into a man, you fuckin crack whore!?" Bulma was quite fed up with Sailor Mercury. "I'll fuckin' kick your ass back to when Son Goku still had a tail, you bitch!" She unleashed her fury on the unsuspecting Sailor Senshi, sending her a flurry of kicks and punches that would have made Jackie Chan's stunt double whistle.  
  
"I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!!!" Ami yelled. "It's not my fault you fell into one of the Cursed Springs!"  
  
"Huh?" Bulma suddenly remembered the training she had done with Trunks in China, something about a cursed spring. "I guess you're right - maybe I should get together with Ranma."  
  
All of a sudden, a large crowd surrounded the three women, although it wasn't they who were catching all the attention. It was the Emperor Hotohori who had finally chosen Miaka, the Priestess of Suzaku, as his bride.  
  
"Put me down you bastard!" Miaka yelled as she struggled on top of the huge float. "I never agreed to this damn marriage!"  
  
"I'll make you pork chops when we get back to the palace," Hotohori bargained suavely.  
  
"Okay then!" The young woman smiled.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to allow it!" Tamahome yelled from the crowd. "Go Pikachu!"  
  
"Pika, pi!" The small rat-like thing cried, and the whole place filled up with bright lightning. The lightning hit the puddle of water Bulma was standing in, heated it up (most profusely), and turned her back in a woman.  
  
"Hey," Bulma shrugged, "works for me." Then, she rode off.  
  
"This is getting to fucked up for me," Sakura decided. "I'm going to school.  
  
***  
  
This story has several morals:  
  
1) Never bring your talking stuff pets to school.  
  
2) Never stop and pet talking stuffed pets.  
  
3) Never assume to flying women means bad news.  
  
4) Never train in the Sacred Springs (several people will back me up on this).  
  
5) Never fall for a man because of his pork chops.  
  
6) Never watch Pokémon…ever.  
  
7) And (drum-roll please), Never walk down the street, see your wife turn into a man, and then simply walk away. Vegeta's home (and love) life was never quite the same again. And he never went walking with Bulma in the rain again, either.  
  
Please review, I beg of you!  



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